Ladies and gentlemen, I am fucking sick of the way every single round of 'dome crits has the totally ridiculous comment "but where was the stooooory?!" Italo Calvino did not need a story. Samuel Beckett did not need a story. Gustave Flaubert did not need a motherfucking story. Stories are easy; literature is hard. Today we are losing the plot.

That's right - your piece in this inaugural round of the brawl must not have a story, narrative or any sort of forward arc. Make it evocative, and beautiful. Make it move me. Make it goddam say something. I am kicking out your narrative crutches - do me proud. You need more direction? Tough titty - you are the cream of the crop, and I'm not holding your hand. If you really desperately want a flash rule, you may ask your opponent for one and I will hold it as binding.