Mercedes and Nethilia. I've no doubt the two of you have overcome many years of adversity, the likes of which might spawn any number of hit lifetime dramas based on a true story. But you're not alone. Not anymore.

You know what I miss? White guy black guy buddy cop movies. The just don't make them anymore. Thanks Obama. To fill this yawning emptiness, the two of you are gonna treat me to your best white guy black guy buddy cop routines with the following caveat: one of your loose cannon public servants is to be dictated at the discretion of your opponent. You will each be allowed 124 characters and 24 hours from this post to define them. That's basically as long as a tweet. Your other character is up to you.

Aside from that, you've until July 4th to impress me and a whopping 2,000 words to impress me with. Additionally, here are a few questions I've premeditated that you might ask.

Do they have to be a white guy and a black guy specifically?
No.

Do they have to be 'guys'?
No.

Do they have to be human?
Yes.

Go get 'em, champ.