Guess what I love? Retold Fairy Tales. Read em, write em, put em in a stew. I treasure them when they’re well done. Ah, that last part’s the rub, ain’t it? Well done. So let’s see what you chucklefucks can do with old as balls story elements.

Pick a fairy tale. Perrault, Grimm, Anderson, etc.—you hopefully know the damn classics (and if you don’t you’re on the internet, so Google that shit). If you don’t/won’t pick one or want to take your chances with what I can give, I’ll pick it for you. I know some obscure shit. Once someone takes a story it and all its variants are off the table, so move fast.

You are to then take two to three (and no more) well known elements from that story and use it in your entry. So if you pick, say, Cinderella? You can pick the glass slipper, the midnight deadline, birds pecking the stepsister’s eyes out, mice, and/or many other things in the story. And don’t Disneyfy this shit. If you pick Snow White and write about some bastard named Doc or Grumpy, that’s fanfic and you can suck a poison apple asshole and die. I want the semi-classic stories, none of this Tangled Frozen House of Mouse nonsense.

Things that are not Fairy Tales (including but not limited to): Epics, Poems, Myths, Just So Stories, Aesop's Fables, Fantasy Novels, The Wizard of Oz. Don't game the system.

And to try and get actual stories out of you like swords out of stones (bee tee dubs, that's not a fairy tale), your story must either travel in a line—be at a different place at the end than at the beginning—or a circle—end near the same place it started, but with some significant, detectable change.

No: erotica, GoogleDocs, poetry, fanfic, or funky word tricks that put the Head Judge’s vision at stake.