For US goons, this coming weekend will be a time to celebrate explosions, independence, barbeque, and all of the other things that remind us we're truly exceptional. This week, I want you to write about America's creamy filling, that special something that sets us apart from every other human that eats, drinks, sleeps, and poops on this dumb planet.

That's right. You're writing stories about a big-box megastore. Think Super Walmart. Think Mega Target. Think Captain Fucking Kroger himself, squatting in an car-choked concrete prairie, dumping steamy hot bargains straight onto your chest.

Enter...VOIDMART, the ironically-named superstore that feeds all your needs.

Indulge me, goons. I've wanted to do this prompt for a long time. Once you sign up, I will assign you a department. Voidmart is an improbably huge and well-stocked store, so some examples might be: women's undergarments, the deli, the fitting rooms, the auto center, cart duty, and so on. Your protagonist must work in the department I assign you, though you're free to write about supporting characters from other departments, or collaborate with other goons (in fact, I would love if you guys worked together, though it's not mandatory).

Genre is open. Voidmart is a pretty big, weird fucking store and an equal opportunity employer, so don't be afraid to do crazy shit. That said, I'm going to be firm about the setting. Your story must take place in Voidmart or immediately outside Voidmart. And NO EROTICA OR FANFIC do I even have to say it


A bit about Voidmart

Voidmart is huge. It puts all other megastores to shame in both size and range of products offered.

For a big-box store, it's not actually very boxy. In fact, its roof is oddly dome-shaped. Fluorescent lights hang from beams that criss-cross above the many, many aisles.

There are cameras everywhere, and security is top-notch. Still, there are spots where even the all-seeing eye of loss prevention cannot look.

Management lurks in a foreboding office at the top of a dark flight of stairs. I'm not too fussed about where in particular those stairs are located in the store.

Voidmart's in-house coffee brand is called Golden Bean. A Golden Bean cafe is located near the front of the store, so customers can energize themselves and shop longer.

CUSTOMERS SUCK!!!!!