I've heard you, Thunderdome. I've heard your clamoring. Long have you suffered under the fungal spores of a chanterelle queen. Long have you strained under her terrible crow-feather yoke. But today her crown is my crown. Today, I am the new blood king. Today, I am Tyrannosaurus Rex. May my reign last ten thousand years.

For my first act as your new yet already beloved despot, I offer you a gift most generous and precious: some small piece of my greatness. Your stories this week shall be like Athena bursting from the forehead of Zeus. I have placed the entirety of my writings into a neural network, trained it on them, and after you sign up I will give you six sentences of unquestionable genius. You will choose three to use. You should use them word for word. You may choose to be but loosely inspired by them though this will insult me so do make sure it’s worth it.

If you :toxx:, I will give you ten sentences and you may choose any three.

Wipe the bird shit from your shoulders. Scrape the mushrooms off your bones. Welcome to Week 430 and the dawn of a new Thunderdome. Long live the king.